My daughter came home! It is wonderful to have her here. I had forgotten how they gang up on me. We had a heated family meeting Wednesday evening. Anyway, it's amazing how the same thing can be viewed from four different perspectives! Yesterday I had a nasty hangover! I still went to my eye doc appointment! I am putting the idea of bifocals on the shelf. I will wait a little longer. Apparently I won't damage my eyesight (can it get any worse?). I have to hurry up and get what ever I need done soon!
So I am definitely getting a little depressed abou this layoff thing. My last workday will be April 29, 2011. There aren't any jobs in this area. I hate my situation!
I have been thinking about my daughter that is at UCSB. I miss her so much! She is sick right now. How I wish she was home during those sickly days so I can take care of her.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
She is coming home!!!
My daughter comes home tomorrow!! Well, Wednesday in the wee hours! I'm so excited! Just when things settle into our "regular" schedule, she leaves! But, we will enjoy her for a few days!! It is nice seeing the kids hang out. So, I think she is taking a vehicle down with her. I worry about...what? I really don't know. I guess us moms say that, knowing full well that all is fine. So, I take it back!! It will be good for her to have a vehicle there. I can't imagine being so far from home without a vehicle. She wants to take her Daddys truck! That is reassuring, cus I'm sure he will be there with her. Tomorrow is going to drag...work...I dont think I will be able to sleep 'til she arrives. I'm so glad that her fiance helps her (us) out.
So Friday I went out with a few friends. It was really nice. I hadn't gone out and felt so ok. Saw a lot of old faces from my kids school days. I'm not as lost as I thought I was. My acquaintances sound like they are (some) worse off than me! I wonder how things would be if he was still alive. I don't believe that I would be me, as I am now. So would I be that little mormon wife?? Hmm, probably not. I was at the brink of rebellion, anyway. I don't know how he would've taken my decision to separate myself from the church. I'm sure it would've been an issue; a workable issue, I would hope. The bummer about that is that I introduced him to church. I talked him into, but after he got involved, I didn't truly want to be a member. It's strange. But then again, I'm speculating if I had left the church while he was alive. I could've just stayed and learned to be a miserable hypocrite as most members are. I don't think he would've let me be in a miserable situation. He did really care how I felt about things and wanted me and the homefront to be a happy one. Do I miss him! But tomorrow is a new day!
So Friday I went out with a few friends. It was really nice. I hadn't gone out and felt so ok. Saw a lot of old faces from my kids school days. I'm not as lost as I thought I was. My acquaintances sound like they are (some) worse off than me! I wonder how things would be if he was still alive. I don't believe that I would be me, as I am now. So would I be that little mormon wife?? Hmm, probably not. I was at the brink of rebellion, anyway. I don't know how he would've taken my decision to separate myself from the church. I'm sure it would've been an issue; a workable issue, I would hope. The bummer about that is that I introduced him to church. I talked him into, but after he got involved, I didn't truly want to be a member. It's strange. But then again, I'm speculating if I had left the church while he was alive. I could've just stayed and learned to be a miserable hypocrite as most members are. I don't think he would've let me be in a miserable situation. He did really care how I felt about things and wanted me and the homefront to be a happy one. Do I miss him! But tomorrow is a new day!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Latina women are culturally tied?
I am getting older and feel secure in my own skin now, I think. I write that with reluctance. Lately (ha! a few years now!) I see a not so transparent difference the way Latina women and other women of different nationale carry themselves. I want to believe that we are all equal, but I find that we aren't. Sure there are hundreds of insecurities in each of us women, especially after we begin to age just a little. I can't seem to get the feeling that we Latina women are falling behind in the social aspect of our surrounding society. Is it bad? Is there really a difference in , oh say, white women and Latina women? Should we leave our "old ways" behind? What are those old ways? Did our mothers influence us so?
March madness
February ended as quickly as it started. I am such an emotional mess, usually, that month. This year it wasn't as bad. I think things are starting to balance out, somehow. Maybe it's a new perspective I have. My daughter came home on the 18th. i was glad she wasn't alone on her fathers birthday. The other two chillins and I were home. It was quite nice. I find that I am not waiting for "something" to happen as frequently as I used to. I used to try not to change things around the house as much; I'm not as aware of that pending "something" as often.
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